i just hate it... if only i could express how deep my heart sank tonight..
.. i was hoping for the day to hold her in my arms, to cover her with kisses, to sing her to sleep, to smile when she shines and to listen when she dulls... i wanted to be the one to bring her hope, happiness, and love....
... i'm happy that she is with someone who has proven himself worthy... since he's alwys been there for her..
.. but yet again, as history repeats itself, i come away with only a broken heart, buckets of tears, and where her heart should be within my palms, you will find lint and cobwebs ...
.. i hate having to be the one on the losing end.. and to note, i lost out to a military guy again.... goddamnit. this makes me angry at myself for some reason. and to fate and to god.
i'm going to try to sleep, and pretend that there's something at the end of this story that's damn well worth seeing... so long reality; here's to hoping that my subconscious will have a better movie for me to watch..
=(
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